All AussieZealand Adventures
by Fellest
Summary: Aussie and New Zealand are sick of being forgotten and bossed around, so they're taking their anger out on this new Fandom, mwahahahahahahaha... Hope you can see the endnotes at the bottom of each chapter!
1. Short Review

WARNING: Hetalia does not belong to me. Australia and New Zealand do, but the other's do not... Yes, Aussie belongs to me, haha!

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

_This is a short over view of what's to come in this story ark. There isn't any set story line, so the stories are all randomized on what I feel like writing at the time. Because Australia and New Zealand don't appear in Hetalia, I will be describing them here._

_The chapter, too, will be cut into two parts: The story, and the foot notes and historic details. Most of the info should be correct, if not, tell me and I will check Wikipedia._

_Make sure you read the character info on this chapter before proceeding, so that you know how Aussie and New Zealand looks and acts._

_Thanks for reading._

**Plot:**

Australia and New Zealand are one of the few _native_-English speaking countries. But even with all the press, not everyone knows about the real them. Well it's time to get a real look at one of the world's smallest, populated countries in the world, the old fashion way... through comics and bad humour!

**Warnings:**

Even though I'm Australian myself, other Aussies maybe offended by the content in these drabble. This also applies to what I think of other countries, so please tread caution when reading these bad humoured stories!

**Meaning Behind the Title:**

There was a show, a few years ago, called _Russel Coits: All Aussie Adventures._ It's a parody of some of these outbacks, tourist type TV shows, staring the guy who plays Kell for the _AUSTRALIAN VERSION_ of _Kath and Kim._ It was an interesting title, and it kept coming into my head, so here it is!

**Australia:**

Human name: Jane Davies Smith [Yes, a girl because there's TOO MANY MALES!]

Age, Height: 18 and, however high England is (For reasons I'm about to explain).

Siblings: Older brothers England and America. Little brother New Zealand.

Friends: America, France, China, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Lebanon, India, etcetera... and some times Japan.

Attitude: She is an apathetic nation who smokes, drinks, gets into fights and always 'causes trouble. But mostly within her own house, outside, she's quite polite and is reluctantly manipulated by stronger powers. Though she hates him, she is often (still) bossed around by her big brother, England, and is still seen as colonies of his. She gets along with everyone but Indonesia, due to recent event.

Appearance: Just like her big brother, Australia is blond with green eyes and crazy eyebrows. Even though her house is bigger, her population is seen as fiftieth in the world, making her height over population the opposite to England's. She wears a Khaki uniform with a grey swaggie-hat, with matching corks dangling down to keep the flies away. But because of the recent heat wave, she opts to keeping her shirt un-done, going as far as to taking it off revealing her green and gold bra ;P

She's often seen with a Cane-toad, using it to threaten people who assault her. This is because Queensland and the Northern Territory have an infestation of Cane-toads up there, which often eats the crops up there.

Short History: Seen as a delinquent, England got sick of Aussie's behaviour and sent her off to another island where she met Jason. Being the delinquent she was, she kicked him to the next island, known as New Zealand. It soon became a colony of New South Wales (A state in Australia). Quickly, she grew into a proper society, taking orders from England.

In 1901, Australia protested against her big brother and became her own nation. Her state capital became the ACT, which is seen as a small mole under her left eye. So every 26th of January, in memory, Aussie would go around cleaning everything, which she doesn't normally. In World War I, she and New Zealand were badly beaten up by Turkey, though held out very well with the bad circumstances. In World War II, the two were forced to fight on two fronts, almost being taken by Japan! Thankfully, America came in just as the tides turned, and the three have been friends ever since.

Over the years, much of the people who lived in her house were foreigners, with 75% of her populations being European and Asian now. She has recently become best friends with France (If you know the about the incident with Sarkosky and our Governor General, you will know what I'm talking about!) and America. She's become a little closer again, to her brother England; though they still fight, they tend to stay at each others house every so often. She has a love hate relationship with Japan and Indonesia.

**New Zealand**:**

Human Name: Wellington Holland Kirri

Age, Height: 20 and, slightly shorter then Aussie (For obvious reasons).

Siblings: Sister Aussie and Uncle England.

Friends: Denmark, England, America, France, China, pretty much the same as Aussie...

Attitude: Unlike Aussie, Well is a lot more responsible, often keeping to himself. Being a small, enclosed country, he tries to stay out of fights and is very friendly to everyone. Though, he does tend to have a bit of a short fuse when it comes to Aussie, some times even going behind her back (Or, slapping it rather) just to piss her off.

When he was a colony of hers, he would pick on as much as she was by England. Since his independence, they have become, some what, rivals, though are always together. He often does things to annoy her, in revenge, but never too excessive.

He can speak English and Sheep, lol.

Appearance: Even though he's not actually Dutch, he does take on some of the characteristics, looking a cross between Dutch and Maori. He has short, dark brown hair, red eyes and tanned skin. He has a similar uniform to Aussie, only dark green and without the hat. Because of his early history, he likes to carry around witch-doctors stuff with a sheep skull on top, just to scar people.

He has a defining bit of hair at the back that stands up, representing Auckland.

Short History: Well was originally a colony of Aussie, taking direct orders from her and England. In the late 1800's, he broke away from Australia and became his own nations. But even with this, they remain as thick as thieves, with an even closer relationship then America and Canada's.

Though he is a small nation, many nations go through him first, before going to Aussie. This is because it is cheaper, so that he can spite her by dumping all these new foreigners on her. He tends to spank her in public, every so often, just to add insult to injury.

**There Relationship:**

Though they argue all the time, Aussie and New Zealand are VERY close. Because the population of sheep out does humans 3 to 1 in New Zealand, Aussie often calls him Sheepfucker (And inside joke between Aussie and New Zealand :P). In turn, he calls her a fucking wog, asshole, motherfucker, etcetera...

They do everything together: Anzac's, ANSTO, foreign affairs, everything! As much as they hate to admit it, they make a pretty good team when they need to. Even though there is tension between the people of the two nations, they still visit each other... probably for particular reasons!

Recently, they have gotten closer to there brother/uncle again, France and America, since the recent changes in government.

I have what they look like now. Please visit my deviantart account, my username is Fellest, and look at the pictures called "All AussieZealand Adventures" and "Movie Marathon."

** I would like to note that I apologise for any miss-information about New Zealand: I'm not a Kiwi, nor have I been there, so I'm still a bit sketchy about that small country. I'm only going on what's on Wikipedia.


	2. Rise of the Convicts

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

The Rise of the Convicts!

Chibi-Aussie was under England's boat now, getting ready to set it alight. Because of her crimes, her brother had made her wear a jump suit and pants with black and white stripes on them. She giggled, dropping a match onto the ground of the boat.1 She was about to get up, when a hand grabbed her collar and pulled her up. The voice growled, "Do you want a scolding!"

She fidgeted, knowing who that was. England kicked her out of the boat and stepped on the flame, putting it out. He stood before her, on the dock, tapping his foot. "Why must you ALWAYS cause trouble for me? Do I have to spank you for you to behave?"

She snickered. "Nii-san, you're too up-tight: you should loosen up--"

"I've had it up to here!" He grabbed her by the collar again and threw her back onto the boat. "If you like boats so much, why don't you just live on it at sea?"

He then kicked the boat, and it was launched into the sea. She gasped and looked over the railing. "Nii-san! I'll forever hate you for this!!!" She spent several months on the boat, suffering from scurvy, flue, cold, and several diseases that she didn't know even know existed. 2

Eventually, the boat came to a crashing end on a large island. She smirked and jumped out of the boat, coming face to face with another chibi boy. He looked a lot like her, only darker. His eye twitched, as he asked, "Who are you!"

She smiled and placed her small hands onto his shoulders. "I'm Jane and I'm going to be your big sister, okay?" And she kicked him away, just as her brother did.3

*He ended up landing in a small island near by. "Ah, that bitch!" He looked around and found animal and sheep bones plastered around the place. He froze as he heard strange voices behind him.

A witch-doctor's stick, with a sheep skull on top, fell next to him. When he looked behind him, he saw a back of cowering dark men and women. One of them approached him and pointed at the stick, then at him. He smirked, taking the stick. "Time for some pay back, or else my name isn't Wellington Holland Kirri!"*4

Returning to our actual story, Aussie was hard at work, trying to make a new make a new colony. This was hard since there as little to go by, and that her brother was far away. She was dealing with all sorts of problems: The change in climate, the indigenous people (They weren't very happy about these new comers), the various number of new, deadly botany, and one other problem.5

She was tilling, up in the north east (Known as Queensland) of the house, when all of a sudden, "Fuck of ya shit!" A cane-toad sat right in front of her. She started swinging at it with her stick. It started to eat her crops.6

She screeched, trying to catch the toad. "Come back, you can't do that: I'll starve if you do!" She grabbed it around the middle. Aussie couldn't help but smile, snickering, "Aren't you cute." She then threw it across to the next state, which is now known as the Northern Territory.

"And stay out you bitch!" she yelled in turn. She looked at her devastated crops and sighed. She let out a whimper, remembering, "And that hurricane's going to come and ruin my bananas too..."7 She returned to tiling what was left of her land.

***

_Oh well, better luck next time, Jane!_

***

The History so Far:

1 Because of how fussy the English rules where, the prison's were so crowded that they had to dump the "Prisoners" onto empty boats. And when I say prisoners, I mean peasants and proletarians that didn't really do anything but breath!

2 After the discovery of Australia, the British government used it as a LARGE prison. Plus, the whole going there in the first place was pretty hard. It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG journey, and a lot of the prisoners got sick and died on the ships.

3 New Zealand was a colony of Australia. So while Australia got her orders from England, New Zealand got his from Aussie. Probably one of the reasons why they hate Australia, lol.

4 When the Dutch (Abel Tasman) and English (James Cook) explorers came to New Zealand, they found that they quickly left. This is because they had some of their crew members killed and eaten by the Maori's. I read that on Wikipedia while I was searching up more New Zealand history.

5 Australia is geographical VERY different from England. It's much warmers, with more room to cultivate. However, it also had different animal's and poisons plants that cause the settlers trouble. One of which being the, now, extinct Tasmanian Tiger; that was killed because it caused a bit of trouble for the farmers.

Oh, and of cause the Aboriginals weren't very happy about the change, for obvious reasons. One thing that the British thought of, to _humanly_ get rid of the Aboriginal race was by taking the children away from their families and then breading them out with white people, so that the darkness would ease out. See the film, Rabbit Proof Fence, for more information.

6 Cane-toads have been causing trouble for Queenslanders and the Northern Territory for years. There endangered now (I think) but they still cause trouble. Australia has quarantine at airports in each state because of this and other reasons.

7 Every few years, Queensland gets attacked by a Hurricane, just like America. Last year, it devastated the banana crops, and caused the prices on the fruit to sky-rocket! Although even now, the price is still high!!!


	3. That Dutch Guy

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

That Dutch guy, over there...

New Zealand sat on the wooden chair, smirking at his underlings as they went about their business. He had brought in a few things, but mostly sheep. The natives seem to like them, because they became quite popular with... *clears throat* I'll get back to that later.1

Anyway, one day, and Dutch ship stopped on the island. Denmark and Norway got out and looked around. "Nice place, eh Norway, darling?"2

Norway kicked him. Wincing, Denmark smiled weakly and said, "Should we set up camp, then?"

All of a sudden, a heard of sheep ran past, in front of them. The guy looked at them go and grinned, "Herding!"

"Welcome to Kiwi3 land!" said Wellington.

When Demark looked up, he saw the boy standing before him, holding a witch-doctor's staff. Behind him was a bunch of friendly looking Maori people, all carrying spears and Boomerangs.4 They eyed the new comers.

"Thank you; this is quite a nice place--"5 Began Norway, before being interrupted by his superior.

"Yeah! Don't mind if we crash here, do you?" Denmark stood up, forgetting about his bruised leg. He stood in a stance and pointed at Wellington. "Anyway, who's you're boss?"

Wellington smirked and looked away. "Big sister Australia, apparently..."6

"Australia...?" All of a sudden, a scream was heard near by. To the Dutches right, one of his soldiers had a spear through his brain. A couple of the Maori's casually went up, got the body, and took it away.

Wellington snickered, "They must be hungry again..."7

With that, shocked, both Denmark and Norway charged onto their boat and sailed off. When they returned, the older of the two set off for England. When he got there, he fell at England's feet. He asked, "What do you want, you bastard?"

Denmark snivelled, "Don't go to Kiwi, they eat you there..."

***

Back at Kiwi:

Wellington looked at his comrades and thought: "New Zealand... Has a ring to it. Think I'll call myself that instead."8

And that's the story of where New Zealand got its name...

***

_Bet you didn't know about that!_

***

The History so Far:

1 New Zealand is known for its scenery and for the ratio of three sheep to every one person. I don't know about the outside world, but I know that Australian's know this!

2 After he discovered Tasmania (At that point, know as Van Demon's Land, after his boss) the Dutch explorer, Abel Tasman, discovered New Zealand. However, after nine of his crew member's were eaten by the Maori's, he quickly set off back home. I think a similar thing happened to James Cook, after he discovered Australia!

3 This is what the Aussie's call New Zealander's.

4 Yes, the Boomerang! Originally used for hunting. Bloody savages...

5 Please refer to the first half of footnote one, lol.

6 Yup, New Zealand was originally a colony of New South Wales (The original name of Australia), for some odd reason.

7 Something like this apparently DID happen. See _Cannibal Holocaust_ for more information...

8 Despite the name, New Zealand has nothing to do with Zealand or Denmark. It was just a name tribute, in recognition of Abel Tasman (Because the name Tasman was already use).


	4. England and Vegemite

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

England and his Vegemite...

England really like Vegemite1, but... Because of rising prices, he couldn't always have it. There was only one way to get cheap Vegemite, and that was to suck up to his little sister.2

"What do you want, you ass?!" Australia asked, right after an APEC3 meeting. She had three cigarettes in her mouth and a VB4 bottle in one hand. She was the most wasteful person in the world, and how she got into the APEC was anyone's guess.5

"I wanted to ask a favour..." he said slowly, blushing. He looked around before continuing, "Do you think you can send me some of you ve....." He mumbled the last part.

She raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck did you say? Stop mumbling POM6!"

He took in a deep breath and asked, "Can you send me some vegemite?"

"What do you say?"

His eye twitched. _What a rotten child, I ought to give you a spanking for that!__7_ "Go to hell you bitch!"

"Fine then, ass hole, no vegemite!" she yelled back, looking away.

He gasped and wrapped his arms around her waist, begging, "Oh dear God, PLEASE can I have some. I'm desperate and the prices went up, and I don't have much to eat, please have mersey..."

She snickered and pointed over to America, who was talking to Japan. "I sold it to him years ago. Can't remember why though."8

England looked up, and air of danger appeared around him. "Why the FUCK did you sell it to that wanker!" 9

She fought, and then said, "We needed the money, so we sold a bunch of our stuff to him!"

He got up and started to leave, throwing death glares at her. They were enthusiastically returned by the younger nations, as she glared back at him.

When he got outside, France was standing there, gloating, and "Is your food really that rubbish that you have to beg to your colonies.10"

England merely glared at him.

***

_Don't worry England; we still like your Fish and Chips!__11_

***

The History so Far:

1 Vegemite is created from the residue of beer. It was originally invented in England, under the name Marmite. When WWI caused production to slow down, Australia began producing and selling a similar brand. The name was, apparently, chosen by the daughter of the Australian owner (or something), out of a hat.

2 Yup, apparently, the English like Vegemite. And yes, they can't afford to buy it anymore, so sometimes Australian's sneak in Vegemite to their friends and relatives in England (I know a few people...). I like Vegemite myself, and I'd eat it everyday if I could be bothered!

3 It's that environmental summit meeting thing that's been on the news lately. Australia and America have recently signed the Kyoto agreement. They didn't before because our original bosses were fucking nuts!

4 VB means Victorian Bitter. It's a brand of beer in Australia. It's quite good, actually.

5 Australia is one of the most polluted countries in the world, you could say. We're so wasteful that there's a hole in the Ozone layer near us! But because democratically (Population) we're so small, it doesn't really matter, lol.

6 Suppose to mean Prisoner of his/her Majesty. It's what we call English people! We call Europeans WOG's, American's Yanks', Middle Eastern's Muslim, and Asians... well... don't ask. We're a pretty apathetic bunch of people.

7 I'll leave it to YOU on what I meant here, mwahaha...

8 In the mid 1900's, Australia sold the right's to America's Kraft company.

9

10 I think you all know what this means, lol.

11 Yeah, Australian's like their fish and chips... a lot. The only thing I hate is that stupid science thing about Fission' Chips! Man, I hate science jokes!!!


	5. Her Expensive Mole!

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

Aussie's Expensive Mole...

It was the world meeting again, and Australia and England had gotten into a fight. There wasn't really any reason for it, and nobody really remembered how it started. America was looking on in amusement and France was taking on bets.

"Three to one on England1; place your bets!" he yelled.

Even though she seems innocent, Australia likes to fight; especially in her own country! And England was just as bad: last Australia day met with a large brawl as some of the POM's in Western Australia started up a fight for no apparent reason.2 Though, as much as they fight, Australia was still one of the last countries to be seen as still a colony of England, even if they had almost no connections anymore.3

He grabbed one of the two bits of her hair, in front of her, and began pulling it. "Hey, stop pulling Melbourne, you fuck!"4

She grabbed his cheek and began to pull.

Eventually, they came to a rest, with Japan and China pulling them apart. Russia pouted from where he sat, "Damn it, I was rather enjoying that..."

The two nations sat next to each other, quiet until the end of the meeting.

When they got up, England couldn't help but notice the mole under Aussie's eye. He poked it and asked, "What is that thing? It wasn't there when you were younger?"

She began to blush and retreated. "Hey! Stop poking Canberra5."

"Canberra? Is that a city or something?"

Her eye twitched, preparing for battle. "It happens to be my capital. Do you know how much it cost me to get it you bastard!"6

He poked it again. "I think you need to get your money back! What a waste of money!"

She began hitting his arm, as they started up again.

***

_What a waste of tax payer's money__7__!_

***

The History so Far:

1 We maybe a small nation, but we sure can fight, hence why we're the ones with better odds :P

2 This is not a joke, this really did happen last year. Australia day's pretty dangerous, depending on where you are. There was a thing on the news where some POM hit another guy, over the head with a beer bottle and this giant riot broke out. Oh yeah, Western Australia is enhabitated by English people!

3 Yeah, we're kinda still a colony, though these days we only get a call from the Queen when we turn a hundred, apparently... There was even talk last year about us becoming a Republic, though I haven't heard anything since.

4 Australia has two bit's of hair sticking up (Like America) as a fringe. The bigger one is Sydney and the crooked one is Melbourne. These are the two largest (And kinda the most dangerous) cities in Australia.

5 The capital of Australia since 1901.

6 Canberra is an expensive place to like. It even looks pricey! The only good thing about it is the cheep, illegal porn you can get there apparently.

7 Yeah, it's a waste... especially since it's only a territory and not a proper state, mwahaha...


	6. Australia Day

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

Australia Day

The other nations just stared up at the wonder. Australia stood on the desk, wearing an apron and a white bandana on her head. She breathed onto the window and began cleaning it.

America turned to England and asked, "Do you know what's going on?"

The small, yet older, nation sighed and explained, "It looks like the 26th of January1, which could only mean one thing..." He paused as Australia moved over to America, took his glasses and cleaned them before returning them. "It must be Australia Day..."

"Huh?" America looked over at the young woman and asked, "What kind of day turns that weirdo2 into a cleaner?"

But before England could reply, he was rudely interrupted by an obviously pissed off Australia. "For your information, you fucking yank: Australia Day's the one day in which I do the Emu walk3 and bother about the planet! I clean up on MY independence day4, what about you, ass wipe!"

"What the hell is an Emu walk? Is it food?"

She whacked him on the back of the head. "It's just a word we use when describing our clean up... When we go around picking things off the ground."

"Does it work?"

She thought for a moment, tapping her chin with her finger. "It works in the schools, if that's what you mean."

England and America turned away and snickered. Eye twitching, she threw something hard at the two of them. Rubbing their heads, they looked at the object: it was a long, metal pipe.

England looked at her and asked, "Where the fuck did you get this?"

She smirked and answered, "I smuggled it when I came here!5"

And she cracked up laughing, leaving to clean something else. He looked at the pipe, then at her, then at America and said, "She is NOT allowed back into my country after this."

America cocked his head and asked, "Why is she such a delinquent anyway? I thought Australian's were supposed to be nice people6..."

England looked away and snickered. "Her colony's made up of prisoners I sent over years ago 'cause my prisons were so crowed7--"

"OH! Like that movie with Mr. Bean in it... What's it called...? _Johnny English__8__,_ that's right!" He laughed, remembering the funny antics of that movie. "That was so cool... He was climbing up poo..."

England blushed and looked away: he couldn't believe he raised that kid. He stared after the girl: She was now wiping New Zealand's face9, who strangely didn't mind. The "boy" was drinking a slurpy while reading the paper. She moved onto Austria, cleaning around his cup of tea.

He sighed and though: _There's something wrong with that girl!_

***

_Helping save the planet, once again...__10_

***

The History so Far:

1 This is in fact Australia Day, as it says. It's pretty random with lots of BBQ's and Fireworks and people beating each other. That last part wasn't a joke! Please refer to one of the previous chapters for more information on the fights...

2 Being raised by the British and having a population of 75% NOT being actual Australian's would make you weird too...

3 In a lot of the schools I remember going to, every so often the staff would get all the kids to walk around the school and pick up rubbish off the ground. Some had designated areas for grades, while one had to bribe us with coke and a Billabong, :P It was hot at the time (I was living in Queensland at the time). It's a bit of a drag, and isn't too effective, but we did our small part, you could say.

4 I don't think I need to explain this, America!!!

5 I'm not saying that Australian's do this, but we tend to be sadistic that way, you see. Though we seem to be the only Western Country that WON'T be bombed by suicide bombers... probably because of all the wogs here or something.

6 This is a DIRTY, ROTTEN LIE!!!

7 Refer to chapter one.

8 Yeah, I love that movie! When I was doing, like, chapter 2 of this, or something, it made me relies the connections between them and us, lol...

9 We don't ALWAYS fight, just most of the time.

10 No pun intended...


	7. Mini Civil War

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

Mini Civil War

Australia looked around the table, at the eight states. Once again, they were in a feud.

Victoria, a Japanese looking exchange student with maroon-black hair and dark glasses, holding a laptop,1 was staring down New South Wales, a dark haired business man with a cigarette in one hand and a newspaper in another.2 Once again, they were having a feud about nothing.

Queensland, a tall, pale haired man in casual clothes and the same type of hat as Aussie, was standing there eating a banana, hoping to take on the winner.3

Next to Victoria was South Australia. She was a young, Greek woman with a festive uniform on, again.4 And next to her was Western Australia, who looked like an older version of England, accept with thinner eyebrows and longer, neater hair. He was in a black trench coat, reading the paper, looking up every so often.5

Behind South Australia was the young Aborigine, Northern Territory, who was dressed a lot like Victoria, for some strange reason.6

7"Look, you fuck: St. Kilder won fair and square against the Swans on Saturday, so go fuck your self!" yelled Victoria, pointing at New South Wales.

The dark haired man grunted through his cigarette and groaned, "We all know you cheated, asshole, how could Sydney lose like that--"

"Then prove it this Sunday against North Melbourne!" said the Asian. Then he pointed at Queensland and said, "Anyway that was Brisbane who cheated, not us!"8

Queensland's eye twitched. Throwing is banana somewhere behind him, he joined into the fight that had just started. Smirking, Western Australia got up and joined in, using a broken bottle (that I continently placed there for the sake of mocking him) as a weapon.9

"Hey," yelled Northern Territory all of a sudden, though no one listening anyway, "Why aren't I a state! Why am I a territory of South Australia?"

She glared at him and said, "Because you're an idiot, you idiot..."

Hence started yet ANOTHER fight. Tasmania, a tall, blond haired gentleman, was standing next to Aussie, trying to calm everyone down.10 "Please, everyone stop: we can't have civil war's or else the north will use it as an excuse to invade... I'm just wasting my breath, aren't I?"

"Yup," commented Aussie. She sighed and brought out her secret weapon, shoving it under their noses. They automatically stopped in terror, especially Queensland and Northern Territory.

"Keep that fucking toad away from me," yelled Queensland, shaking in fear.

Aussie stepped a little closer, with the Cane-toad11, and said, "Now you lot break it up right now, or else I'll let a few yanks smuggle these in!"

They backed away. Across the table from the fight was ACT: she was, like, a younger version of Aussie, only without the mole and wearing the same things as New South Wales.

She looked up from her Playboy magazine and said, "Did you know that there's a hole in the Ozone layer, above Tasmania?"12

They looked at her with wonder. She had cheep porn with rising house costs with no actual landmarks, and yet see still talked about weird things. Tasmania sighed and drooped next to her. "Just because you're the capital, doesn't mean you can say stupid thing..."13

She kicked him on the back of the head.

Aussie crept out of the room, wondering if other countries had to deal with this sort of thing...

"Go to hell, you gay poofta!" yelled Texas.

"Look whose talking, you gun-loving shit," San Francisco shouted back. "Why don't you go fuck a gun!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, ass!" And the two states attacked each other, with the remaining 48 states cheering them on.14

America tip-toed away, wondering if other countries had the same problem...

***

_One day, the ACT will rule the world... but not too soon because she has to pay off her house loans!__15_

***

The History so Far:

1 A majority of Victoria are actually either from Europe, the Middle East, India, or Asia. A lot of the students at the university's there are in fact Japanese, who leave when they get their degree's, hence why Victoria is an Asian student.

2 Even though New South Wales is like a larger version of Victoria, apparently it's a little cleaner and more stable, however: It also has a lot of rich, pompous people, which is why my mother doesn't want to go back there ever again, lol.

3 Living half my life there, I find that I HATE Queensland, the bastards! They're mostly famous for the giant banana place, because this fruit grows best up there in the heat, lol. But I also find that the heat seems to rot their brains because I don't like the people up there, or I just hate were I was born. Either way is good...

4 South Australia is apparently famous for its festivals, so I put her in festive clothes that couldn't be bother describing. There are also a lot of English, Greeks, excetera... living there too, like my dad's friend (Greek) so that's why she is, well, Greek.

5 Most of Western Australia has English people there, and is apparently well off because of the mines there. There also a Liberal state, so I hate them...

6 The Northern Territory is not a state (which we find out soon) but a territory of South Australia, apparently. But because it's so big, it's often added to a lot of country wide things as a sort of, state, because of how big it is. And it's dressed like Victoria because, even though a lot of Aborigines and English people live there, apparently there's also a lot of Chinese there that came in during the Gold Rush. There are a lot of Chinese people in Victoria, that's why they're similar.

7 In Australia, we have an official game called AFL [Australia Football League] which is similar to things like Rugby and American football, but there are a LOT of differences. Probably best to consult Wikipedia about it.

8 There was an incident, years ago, where Queensland's AFL team [Brisbane Lions] won a couple of the grand finales, and were called on cheating. Something to do with oxygen in between breaks or something... I don't know nor care, because it was years ago, but that's the story.

9 I've almost used this reference to death now! And if you've just come in and hadn't bothered to read the other chapters, then go read them to find out what this incident is.

10 My current living location. The people there are nicer then the ones on the mainland, but that doesn't always mean much. Contrary to popular belief, Tasmania is NOT an island, since it IS attached to Victoria by a bit of land 50km below the Bass Straight. It has similar weather to England, cold, damp and hilly, lol.

11 Queensland and Northern Territory have a Cane-toad problem, so one of the problems we have at the airport is having our bags checked for wild bugs and animals. We got caught at the airport once, because of an umbrella and ring binder. It was really annoying.

12 Yup, because Australia is one of the most wasteful countries in the world, there is a small hole just above the state of Tasmania. I wonder if that's the reason why Victoria has had such a dry spell over the last five years...

13 The ACT [Australian Capital Territory] is a territory within New South Wales. And like I said, it has cheap, illegal porn, and sky-rocket house prices! There was apparently a feud between the cities Melbourne and Sydney on who would be the capital of Australia, so the government just it in between the two.

14 Of cause, a joke about San Francisco with it's Gay sailors, and Texas who likes guns WAY too much! And then there's the other 48 states who hate each other. And Australia thought SHE was in trouble.

15 It's just a joke.

BTW: I don't know much about SA, NT, WA or the ACT because I've never lived/been there yet, but if my info is inaccurate, please let me know.


	8. France's New Boss

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

France's New Boss

Aussie looked over at France smiling lightly. They were both eloquently dressed: him in a grey suit and white shirt, with the top two buttons undone; her, a short grey, secretary uniform with matching, dark-grey tie and stockings. Her hair was done neatly into a bun and she wore dark-framed glasses, which were obviously fake.1

America and England were near boy, still a bit bewildered by the situation: France's new boss [Sarkozy] was going around the world, acquainting himself with the other leaders.2 England, Australia and America had recently gotten new bosses as well, so they were all having a meeting in the next room.3

France and Aussie were having quite an unusually interesting chat about... anyway: England and America remain frozen in their seats, looking at the two. They were like lovers or something, secretly (yet loudly) talking to one another, making goo-goo eyes at each other.4

America looked around before asking, "Hey, isn't Russia suppose to be here or something?"

England's face got darker with the word Russia. He mocked the yank, "You had to look around to come to that conclusion?"

America shrugged. "I thought he had a new boss to."5

There was a light knock at the door. Russia proceed in with a soft smile. "My bosses had trouble with weather. They now in next room with the others."

The four looked at him. Bosses?

"Right! Boss_es!_" snickered France and America. "As in Vladimir Putin who _shouldn't_ be here 'cause he's _not_ the boss anymore, yet still calls the shots."

Russia's face darkened, the breeze of _kolkolkol...__6_ rising. His eye twitching, he explained, "Dmitry Medvedev IS my boss! Mr. Putin is just here to help him, as all!"

The countries snickered, but hushed up as soon as he gave them the death glare.

He left without another word, parking himself near the next door, where the leaders sat. The others just stared at the door in wonder.

France and Aussie looked at each other. "What just happened?"

"I don't know anymore..."

America cocked his head in wonder. "Never thought Russia would give up this easily."

"Care for a beer,7 Aussie sweety?"

"Drop the sweet and I'm there!" The two turned to the others. France asked, "You's coming or what?"

America smiled and jumped out of his seat. "Why not! Coming England?"

The Englishmen just sat there, blank face. France smirked, grabbed him by the arms (which woke him up) and hoisted him up onto his back, much to the protest of the Englishman: "Hey: What the fuck are you doing France?"

"Come on, you look like you need a drink. I'll pay if you're piggy-bank is _really_ that low, if you want..."8 France smiled as England stopped his assault and sarcome to being held.9

America, already with a burger in his mouth, asked, "Can you pay for me too--"10

"Not a chance," finished the Frenchman quickly.

Out the door, they saw Russia lying there clutching an empty bottle of vodka.11 They grimaced at the scent of the alcohol. "Holy fuck THAT'S strong..."

France and Aussie raced down the hall, leaving America to poke at the fallen country before retreating as well.

***

_It looks like we won't be becoming one with Russia any time soon...__12_

***

The History so Far:

1 There's no historic significance here, I just thought they might dress a little more in-formal then usually.

2 Nicolas Sarkozy is the new-ish President of France, and has done some... unique things. He is one of the only French Presidents to show interest in uniting with England, the only one to talk to English-Canada and, well... he has a few other attributes that will soon be brought out.

3 A couple of years ago, Gordon Brown became the PM of Great Britain; last year, Kevin Rudd became the PM for Australia, and Barak O'Bama for the United States. So in a way, they are kind of... new, 'specially with us being stuck with the same PM for the last 8 years *grumble, grumble*...

4 Apparently, Sarkozy's quite the charmer, and got a bit closer to Australia's Governor General or something.

5 Dmitry Medvedev apparently became President of Russia. But Putin is still running the shots, so nobody's sure what's going on, lol.

6 Quote from the Hetalia series. Apparently it's a POW camp in Russia/Siberia or something...

7 Because Australian's like beer!

8 A reference to the current economic crisis we're having. Like always, when America screw's up, a lot of it's global business's crash, and we all pay the price for it... Though, you couldn't tell, looking at everyone who still eat out and stuff. I went to Melbourne during my school holidays and couldn't believe the shit load of people who were in all these restaurants's and stuff! Somehow, I don't think it's as bad in Australia as it maybe in other places!

9 Sarkozy has also created an alliance with Britain, forming a friendship with Gordon Brown. So now we have the Frangleterre alliance!

10 Yup, because American's are cheap-scapes.

11 I assure you: Vodka is VERY STRONG! I tried barely a teaspoon once and it burnt my throat, let alone a whole bottle of almost pure vodka!

12 Sorry for the lack of info and excitement in this chapter. I haven't been feeling too up to doing things lately. It doesn't help the fact that I have a couple of stories I'm doing to, so... Hopefully the next one will be better. It maybe a while, but it'll be better... promise!


	9. Never Gets Sick

All Aussie Zealand Adventures

Never Gets Sick!

Most of the people at the World Meeting wished they weren't there. England1 and France, though looking fine on the outside, clearly had some sort cold, shivering and sneezing all the time. Even Russia had fallen asleep, coming down with a nasty flue.2

At the end of the table, it was clear that a lot of the Asian countries were quite ill, having only South Korea, Indonesia and Mongolia3 there, though still looking ill.

America was at the front, once again, apologising to everyone. It was a surprise that he, Canada, Iceland, Greenland, England, Spain, Italy, Germany, Austria, Sweden, Finland, and Japan,4 were even there: they were stuck in a recession, having suffered two nasty quarters. America, even though he was clearly suffering the worse, remained there, continuing the meeting.

"I'm sorry; I didn't think this would happen... again--"5

"Again, you git, this is the third bloody time!" yelled England, clutching his scarf. "Now I have to give out those stupid stimulus plans6! And we all know those don't work!"

Cuba, being a socialist, was looking after Canada, who was hit pretty badly. "Yeah, this is ridicules brother. You have to do something!"7

America's eye twitched. He mumbled, "Thank you, Canada..."

"Why didn't you give out the Stimulus Package at Christmas, like we did, to help boost morale for the holidays?" The small voice had come from an un-likely source. Next to Japan, who seemed to be dying, was Aussie and New Zealand.8

Both of them, though flustered, clearly looked perfectly fine; she was even smiling. "And we're about to give our second packages out soon to those with young kids9--"

"Why aren't you sick!" asked England. "I thought you were in a recess aren't you!"10

Aussie had a light smirk on, saying lightly, "What are you talking about: of cause I've been affected. A lot of our market depends on you guys, doesn't it?"11

New Zealand snickered next to her.

America slammed his hands onto the table and boomed, "Don't worry, a hero is here! Luck for you guy's, I'm a hero, and so is my new boss12! We shall rid the world of this pesky crisis once and for all--"

"And how do you propose that, you moron!" said Switzerland, on corking his gun. "You have ten seconds!"13

America waved his hands in front of him. "Oh for the love of God, no! I have something: I have something! I'll just start up - here it is - a Bail Out14--"

"That didn't work, remember!"

Everyone sighed, collapsing further into their seats.

"I have a stomach ache..." China was at the door, not looking the best. He slumped in and took a seat next to Aussie. "I couldn't sleep last night: I was afraid that if I did, my government would collapses--"15

"Why are you in debt? I thought you made everything, or something--"

"Who would buy things when they have no money!" cried China. He tried to lash out at America, only to be held back by Aussie and New Zealand. He turned to them and yelled, "Why aren't you's two up-set: we have the same problem!"16

Aussie put up a peace sign, "With Rebate's and Stimulus Plan's!" New Zealand merely nodded.

China rubbed his chin a thought.

Everyone was cheering as China looked down at his people. They all shouted, "Hooray for the stimulus plan! Hooray!"17

They looked up at the newly built city that was devested by the Schiuan earthquake.18

Aussie was on the ground, crying to herself.

"You bitch," said New Zealand, calmly, "I just fell into a recession you know. Second quarter: how'd have thought..."19

"The government said that we could go into a recession soon..." She looked at him with tear stained eyes. "The un-employment rate just went up, to like, 7 percent... I don't know what to do..."20

He shrugged and left the room. She started to ball again, trying to find hiding places for her piggy bank.21

***

_It can't be that bad... can it?__22_

***

The History so Far:

1 During the first economic quarter (first 3 months of the year), England, and many other countries, went into a recession due to plummeting house prices. This will be explained why a little later on.

2 France and Russia were luckily enough to miss the first quarter, but fell into a recession in the second quarter. If only Russia had stayed a proper Socialist, he could have avoided this again, lol.

3 These three are a few of the Asian countries that are only slightly affected by the Credit Crisis. Poor Japan, though, got the full blast, recessing in the first quarter.

4 This, some what, long list are the countries that went into a recession in the first quarter, poor bastards.

5 For those of you who don't know, this is how that market crashed this time! As we all know, people take loans out when buying a house, but be careful when you do: banks tend to be sneaky and add on a whole bunch of interest onto the loans. Because of this, many people abandoned their homes and stopped paying the loans on them, so a lot of the banks went bankrupt. Because a lot of the investors on these banks are over-seas businesses (such as from Germany, France, etcetera...) they lost a lot of money from it. When their business fell, it caused a lot of the shares on the stock-market to fall, hence how the stock-market crashed... this time.

If you want to know how the other two stock-markets crashed, either ask me (through review/comments) ask someone else (teacher maybe) or consult Wikipedia like I do.

6 For those few who don't know, a Stimulus Plan is basically the government giving certain types of people money to encourage them to spend it, to help boost the economy. In Australia, the government gave out millions of dollars to people on medicare, youth allowance, family's with young children, etcetera...

7 Socialist and Communist countries (accept for China) aren't affected by outside problems, so Cuba was safe from the collapses. Canada, however, is economically similar to America, hence with similar problems. Because of Cuba's and Canada's friendship, I decided to have him looked after the poor Capitalist as he recovered from the _cold._

8 Just before Christmas, Australia's first stimulus plan came into motion, spending $10 million AU on low income people and families. Kevin Rudd chose this time to encourage people to spend for the holidays. Apparently, there was an up-roar about it not going to work, and stuff, but looking at all the people in the shops, I think it worked. [I live in Tassie with my two sisters and mother, so we used our thousand dollars, yes we got a thousand-ish dollars from it each, to see our father who lives in Victoria.]

9 Recently, Kevin Rudd has given out another few million dollars worth of a stimulus plan... I think. There was a lot of dispute about it, and the effect of the previous one, so I'm not sure if it still being presented in the house, or if it's in effect... it's a bit fage and was a little while ago.

10 Even with this credit crisis, if you come to Australia, you couldn't tell. A lot of items have gone up a bit, but everything still seems to be in business. We're a small country, so we're not always affected by other countries as much.

11 We import and export a lot to other countries such as America, Canada and England; this is our free trade agreement, lol. Even though we don't produce much, we have a lot of raw material (coal, diamonds and Uranium) that we trade. Currently we're in a dispute about what we should do with our Uranium supply (I think it's going to America at the moment) on whether to use it our selves, or selling it off shore; but that's for another story!

12 Obviously I'm referring to Borak O'Bama.

13 Has a declining market, so he's not happy!

14 As many of you know, there has been discussion on what company(s) America should bail out. A little while ago, they bailed out some of these bank companies: BIG MISTAKE! So now the government has to look over some of these companies, after the incident where we saw some of these big-wigs eating at over-priced restaurants. So yeah...

15 Even though China's a Communist state, his market's still fell. This is due to what happened with America with the first crisis: A lot of China's trade is man-produced goods, and when people can't buy the things you produce, then you loose money. Because of this crisis, a large amount of factories, in China, closed down with millions out of the job.

16 Australia and China seem to be at the same level when it comes to the Credit Crisis. Consult Wikipedia for more information.

17 China DOES have a stimulus plan. The news of this apparently affected the market or something. It is recently being revised, to discuss on how the money should be spent, and hasn't been put into action yet. Apparently, they're going to use it to rebuilt towns and cities that have been devastated by natural events, or something.

18 Yeah, there was an earthquake that caused a lot of damage. China's going to give a part of the stimulus plan to rebuild the city.

19 During the second quarter, France, Russia and New Zealand (among a few other countries) went into a recession, which is why he isn't too happy. New Zealand is a lot smaller then Australia and is largely influenced by the import of other countries.

20 Like everywhere else, Aussie's employment rate has gone up to, at least, 7%. Apparently, this has brought up another lot of problems for Australia, possibly causing us to go into a recession.

21 The reason why banks go bankrupt is because either people don't pay off their loans, or they pull out of the bank. And like in the 1930's, when one bank goes bankrupt, everyone else is afraid of loosing their money so they pull out and other banks go down as well.

22 Sorry for the lousiness of the explanations and information, it's late. It's also hard to make sense of something so ridiculously complex. I learnt about the stock-market crashes in History a few years ago, so I know the basic's on how they crash and why, but I had to look up on Wikipedia a lot with the info on individual countries and nations.

This took me all day, but I got there! I swear, this endnote section must be the longest one so far... I think it's even bigger then the chapter itself!

Oh well, enjoy.


	10. The Sorry Chapter

I'm Sorry, but…

But I won't be continuing this series, at least for the time being. I'm currently under some pressure from several different areas, so I have to time to continue. If there is a large enough demand, then I might add another chapter or too, but it is very un-likely.

I've also got several different stories going on at once, so the adding of a chapter will depend on how popular the story is.

I'm sorry, I know that I'm being a pain, doing something like this, but, there has been worst cut-off's in fan fiction then what I'm doing, so you'll have to bear with it as much as I've had too. I advice moving onto something else, another fandom maybe…

Sorry for the inconvenience, but with the time I have now, I can't fit this in. I'm not saying that I WON'T continue, it's just that it won't be up-dated anytime soon.

Sorry,

Fellest Rev.

PS.

For those of you reading this for my Hetalia fanfic, this probably WON'T continue. Now that Australia has an actual face, I don't know if I have the heart to continue. There are a LOT more things I wanted to add, but I have neither the time nor motivation to continue.

If there are people out there who WANT me to keep going, give me a review and I might re-consider, but it's un-likely.

Sorry again…


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